


Salty Coffee

by keykiyoshi7443



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Coffee, Gen, I Tried, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Prompt Fic, This is trash, Tumblr Prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-16
Updated: 2016-05-16
Packaged: 2018-06-08 17:29:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,333
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6866245
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/keykiyoshi7443/pseuds/keykiyoshi7443
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Imagine person A of your otp switching the sugar out with salt before person B is awake. Person B makes their coffee before so much in person A’s general direction, as usual, and dumps a butt load of “sugar” into their coffee before drinking it. Person A is fighting back laughter and tears until they realize Person B is giving them a death glare while they gulp down their entire 16 oz. cup of salty coffee without skipping a beat because they are the alpha and what is weakness.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Salty Coffee

**Author's Note:**

> I get that this is pretty shitty, but I'm making my way through prompts that I've found on the internet. Kinda held up, and this one was kinda crappy. Oh well.

It was a normal day at the bureau. Well, as normal as it can be with the BAU team. Oddly enough, Reid hadn’t arrived the half hour early like he usually does. But no one was really bothered by that fact. He tended to arrive on time as of late.

Choosing to sleep in on the mornings off duty. No one blamed him, the job was tiring and he often brought home work with him. But this was a golden opportunity for a certain someone to get revenge on our favorite genius.

 

* * *

 

“Morgan what are you doing” Prentiss asked as she walked into the kitchen. It wasn’t unusual for agents to be in the kitchen. Most needed more than a cup of coffee in the morning to function properly, and Morgan was no exception. The only thing that was somewhat out of place was the fact that Morgan was grinning gleefully.

He was way to chipper right now. He was usually half asleep in the morning, always snapping at people before his first cup of coffee. He was almost as bad as Reid. Either way, him being this happy in the morning meant trouble for everyone involved.

Morgan turned around and beamed at her, showing her exactly what he was doing. He held up two containers, one that originally held the sugar that people used for their coffee, and the other a container full of salt. Prentiss raised an eyebrow at him. He wasn’t doing what she thought he was doing right?

“Why, I’m glad you asked, Prentiss! You see, I’m just pulling a little harmless prank, that’s all. No harm done. I’m switching out the sugar with this salt! Anyone putting sugar in their coffee is going to have have a really salty drink!” He said gleefully.

Her other eyebrow rose to join the first. So he was in fact doing what she suspected. “Can you imagine Reid’s face when he dumps a giant pile of salt inside of his first coffee of the day? That will certainly give him a wake up call! It’ll be amazing” he yelled happily.

He then proceeded to dump the entire container of salt into the sugar container. “So this is all to get to Reid?” She asked him. They’d been having another one of their prank wars and Morgan had yet to respond to Reid’s latest prank. Usually the coffee was off limits because everyone knew just how much they all needed it in the morning.

But whatever Reid had done for his last prank must have struck a pretty low blow, otherwise Morgan would have never gone near the coffee. Prentiss decided that whatever Reid had done to deserve this had probably been pretty bad.

She thought it best to turn a blind eye, and if she warned the incoming agents that they should probably get their coffee outside of work, then no one needed to know. After that little incident, everything went back to being pretty normal all things considered.

That is until Reid arrived.

He was still half asleep as he stumbled into the office, a complete opposite to what Morgan’s mood was this morning. Unlike Morgan, who is a complete nightmare in the morning without coffee – usually incredibly cranky and a complete 180 from his usual attitude – Reid was oddly adorable when sleepy.

He rubbed his eyes, and Garcia – who had been flirting with Morgan and hanging out in the bullpen – had to suppress the urge to squeal at how cute he was. He dumped his bag on his desk as he passed by and he trudged towards the kitchen.

Morgan grinned and practically bounced in his seat as he saw Reid dump enough ‘sugar’ in his coffee that it was almost a slush like consistency. His desk had an optimal view of the kitchen, specifically the coffee machine. It was why he picked that desk, and why he never requested to move.

It was the perfect vantage point for any and all pranks he played in the kitchen. Reid stumbled back into the bullpen, clutching his coffee close to his body to avoid spilling. As soon as he sat down, he lifted the cup to his lips, read to take a sip of the sludge that he called a good cup of coffee.

Morgan’s grin widened, and even Prentiss had to admit to herself that this would be interesting. She leaned forward slightly from her place perched on her own desk. She didn’t want to miss this. This was most likely a once in a lifetime chance. Reid would never trust again after this.

They wouldn’t be able to pull this off twice. And so, Reid took a great big gulp of his coffee. At first there was no reaction, and then his eyes widened slightly as he realized that his coffee tasted off. His nose crinkled up in disdain at the taste.

He looked like a disgruntled puppy. At that adorable facial expression Garcia could no longer hold in her squeal. The loud sound wiped all remaining traces of sleep from Reid and he turned to look at where the sound came from.

He looked even more adorable as he got this slightly confused look on his face. And that sent Morgan into a fit of laughter. Seeing that Morgan was laughing, Reid’s confused stare turned into one of understanding, and then later irritation.

He stared at Morgan and put on a completely blank face. Seeing Reid’s expression change, Morgan’s laughter dwindled to a soft chuckle. Something told him he should be paying attention at this moment. And he wouldn’t be a good profiler if he didn’t trust his instincts. Plus, he couldn’t pass up another chance to see Reid’s reaction.

Reid caught his eyes and then he began to lift the cup back to his lips. Morgan’s eyes widened, he wasn’t going to actually continue to drink that, was he?! Then Reid began to confidently drink the entire cup of salty coffee sludge without even blinking an eye at the taste.

Throughout the entire thing, he never broke eye contact with Morgan. As soon as the cup was finished, he stood up and went to the kitchen to make yet another cup of coffee. As soon as Reid was out of earshot, Prentiss let out a peal of laughter.

Morgan was left spluttering in disbelief. This was supposed to be the prank that won the entire prank war. And it completely backfired on him! Prentiss was too busy wiping tears away from her eyes to actually be able to verbally make fun of Morgan.

Even Garcia had to admit that it was pretty hilarious. “Woo, our Junior G-Man’s sure got some balls to be able to drink that entire cup of coffee! You know just how much sugar he usually puts in his coffee Morgan, it’s barely even liquid when he’s done with it!” Garcia said happily as she too dissolved into a fit of giggles.

Morgan still seemed unable to form words. He was too stunned. This sent both Prentiss and Garcia into a fresh fit of laughter. If they thought that Reid’s reaction to the prank was hilarious, then Morgan’s reaction to the failure was even better.

Reid returned to his desk with a fresh cup of coffee and sat down gracefully. Turning to stare Morgan down once more he began to speak, “Remember Morgan, I’m a MIT graduate. We _do_ have a tendency to go nuclear, as I’ve told you before. And now you’ve touched my precious coffee. You better be ready for the backlash.”

He smirked at Morgan before he began to work on his pile of paperwork. Morgan gaped at him, then groaned as he realized just how badly this prank had backfired on him. Turning to look at Garcia he said “I’m screwed aren’t I.” Prentiss and Garcia shared a look before laughing at Morgan’s misfortune.

There was one thing for certain, there was never a calm morning with the BAU team.

**Author's Note:**

> I tried. This fic was really going nowhere.


End file.
